Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
