i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
