I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
