I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
