we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
