It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
