soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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