butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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