Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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