if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
