Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize