We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
