first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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