Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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