Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
