so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I love you. Go after that dick
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
