That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
