end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
