what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
