Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
