i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
