I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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