Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo

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(509): View more from Washington

I want to make a zoo with you.

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(540): View more from Virginia

please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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(408): View more from California

she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room

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(440): View more from Ohio

Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian

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(407): View more from Florida

I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much

(352): View more from Florida

Like they're going to fly away?

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(714): View more from California

Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.

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