go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she pinky promised me she was 18
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
