yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
