whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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