My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
