Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
