PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
