This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
