just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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