I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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