I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
