I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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