I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
