I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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