my mouth tastes like poor choices
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize