just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
