I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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