Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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