Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.