I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This house was built for laser tag.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??