Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Is it normal to miss your booty call?

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  (650): Is it normal to miss your booty call? http://tfl.nu/3d60
  Replies (9) Good night (916) Bad night (1285)
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  (408): View more from California

  the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW

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  (408): the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW http://tfl.nu/xrjr
  Replies (9) Good night (847) Bad night (2262)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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  (440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs
  Replies (33) Good night (6783) Bad night (946)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.

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  (617): There's a vagina buried somewhere in there. http://tfl.nu/t83u
  Replies (7) Good night (618) Bad night (4402)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

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  (204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3
  Replies (26) Good night (5759) Bad night (1588)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.

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  (701): The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night. http://tfl.nu/22ub
  Replies (12) Good night (892) Bad night (3720)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home

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  (612): Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home http://tfl.nu/ug2x
  Replies (77) Good night (7528) Bad night (773)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again

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  (417): That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again http://tfl.nu/ofmm
  Replies (37) Good night (7554) Bad night (1100)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.

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  (484): I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/prts
  Replies (15) Good night (5010) Bad night (1370)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.

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  (302): Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes. http://tfl.nu/niyo
  Replies (4) Good night (3988) Bad night (884)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3765) Bad night (944)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.

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  (519): He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship. http://tfl.nu/txlk
  Replies (20) Good night (920) Bad night (3387)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT

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  (508): I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT http://tfl.nu/r8ka
  Replies (21) Good night (7065) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT

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  (406): Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT http://tfl.nu/rebq
  Replies (7) Good night (1091) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then

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  (865): I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then http://tfl.nu/yugg
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (401)

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