Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats