Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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  (207): I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend? http://tfl.nu/xxqb
  Replies (49) Good night (1037) Bad night (3014)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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  (902): yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting http://tfl.nu/sy3h
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (3411)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.

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  (608): Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker. http://tfl.nu/j5xk
  Replies (16) Good night (3930) Bad night (1007)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.

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  (254): Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/9aes
  Replies (3) Good night (2812) Bad night (1001)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout

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  (281): seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout http://tfl.nu/w9k1
  Replies (6) Good night (2581) Bad night (1400)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.

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  (301): Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material. http://tfl.nu/ut5k
  Replies (2) Good night (1272) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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  (+44): My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head. http://tfl.nu/1t8h
  Replies (8) Good night (2493) Bad night (934)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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  (217): getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am http://tfl.nu/jult
  Replies (2) Good night (1512) Bad night (650)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.

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  (412): Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy. http://tfl.nu/6smo
  Replies (2) Good night (1143) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

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  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2341) Bad night (485)
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  (716): View more from New York

  definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.

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  (716): definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush. http://tfl.nu/3ehj
  Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (649)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?

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  (605): Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night? http://tfl.nu/gtih
  Replies (6) Good night (560) Bad night (1036)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.

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  (604): I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake. http://tfl.nu/8flx
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?

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  (859): Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"? http://tfl.nu/ijad
  Replies (8) Good night (526) Bad night (165)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf

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  (646): you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf http://tfl.nu/pvlk
  Replies (0) Good night (251) Bad night (212)

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