but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
someone owes me an orgasm
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
