maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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