Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
