Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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