It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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