my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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