Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
