It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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