She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
