can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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