i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
sex in a hospital.. check
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
