I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
