R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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