got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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