Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize