you would pick up someone in the library
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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