If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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