you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
