So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
