no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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