I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
